[originally published in KCN, June 2002]
We have 12 pair of them. Two of the pairs “float.” They are essential for breathing and the protection of our heart, lungs, and other vital organs. God took one from Adam to create Eve. Restaurants serve them: short, spare, baby back, and prime. And some condoms are accentuated by them. Oh, did I mention, chiropractors adjust them. What am I talking about? I’m not “ribbing” you, I’m talking about our ribs.
[originally published in KCN, June 2010]
There I sat in the dental waiting room, flipping through a magazine as my toe kept time to the Muzak. Suddenly, the young dentist poked his head out from behind the door and called my name. He looked worried. And to tell you the truth, I began to feel the same way — because I wasn’t there to be seen. It was my wife’s turn in the chair, and I was only waiting.
[originally published in KCN, May 2002/ cartoon provided by TomLamarCartoon.com]
Chiropractors are back doctors. Right?
Well, while it is true that we place our hands on backs every day, calling us back doctors really misses the mark. As a matter of fact, calling chiropractors “back doctors” makes about as much sense as calling medical doctors “stomach doctors.”
[originally published in KCN, October 2002]
Okay — so there you are, flat on your back. “The cat food bag really wasn’t that heavy,” you think to yourself, but apparently your back didn’t seem to care as it locked up in spasm with knife-like pain half way through the lift that you now realize lacked proper technique. Perhaps now would be a good time to find the card for that chiropractor your friends have been pestering you to see for the past five years. “Nahh, it will go away on its own,” you reassure yourself. “A little rest and heat and I’ll be fine — or is it ice? No, no, I’m sure it’s heat…maybe.”
[originally published in KCN, April 2010]
On January 12, 2010, the world reached out to the people of Haiti following their catastrophic 7.0 magnitude earthquake that reduced the entire capital city of Port-au-Prince to rubble and ruin. Unfortunately much of the relief aid was slow to arrive due to damaged transportation facilities and chaos. But that didn’t stop chiropractor Rennie Statler of Danbury, CT. Within nine days of the devastating event, he, along with a handful of colleagues, was on a jet plane heading south — leaving his comfortable office and familiar surroundings to hand-deliver supplies of food, water, and of course, chiropractic care to the hurting Haitian country.
[originally published in KCN, Febuary 2002]
If the mere mention of “Growing Pains” reminds you of the popular 80’s Alan Thicke and Kirk Cameron sitcom, then you probably weren’t one of the select 10-20% that were tagged with this misleading medical diagnosis when you were a child. Misleading in that, from a physical sense, it doesn’t hurt to grow. But then, why do children experience this reoccurring “vague leg pain”? — with pain so intense at times that it actually causes some to cry themselves to sleep.
[originally published in KCN, December 2001]
It may come as a surprise to some, but we chiropractors aren’t just for spines — some of us are pretty adept at treating other joints of the body as well.
In chiropractic college, we were taught how to adjust every joint of the human frame — every joint. I remember sitting in an auditorium at the chiropractic college I was about to attend, some ten years ago, watching a clinical demonstration . The chiropractor on stage was treating a patient, and we, as potential students got to observe. Towards the end of her demonstration, she announced that chiropractors were trained to adjust every joint in the body. She then asked if there were any requests for her to show us an adjustment of a particular joint. I sat there in disbelief. “Every joint?” I wondered. I racked my brain for a joint in the body that I was sure would stump her. I raised my hand. “What about the joints inside the ears, between the small ear bones?” I asked with a sense of smugness. Fellow chiropractor-to-be audience members glanced at me with a “I think you got her”-look. Well, within moments we were all greeted with a Auditory Ossicle “J” Maneuver. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I learned a lesson that day — every joint.
[originally published in KCN, September 2001 / cartoon provided by TomLamarCartoon.com]
Diversified, Gonstead, Cox Flexion Distraction, Activator, Thompson, Sacro Occipital Technique, NIMMO Receptor Tonus, Applied Kinesiology, Logan Basic, Cranial, Pierce-Stillwagon, Pettibon, Directional Non-Force, Toftness, Chiropractic Spinal Biophysics, Toggle Recoil, Neuro Emotional Technique — the list goes on, and on, and on, easily surpassing the 100 mark. To the average chiropractic patient, or non-patient for that matter, these names probably seem like some sort of cryptic chiropractic jargon. But to the chiropractor, these names parallel a walk down the tool aisle at Sears — these names represent chiropractic adjustive techniques.
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